Broken inside
by TRIX19
Summary: Just because no one wished me happy birthday doesn't mean I can't wish her. Rated K
1. Nina

**Okay, now this is kind of sad and it's about Joy. And no, she doesn't kill herself! I just want to make a fanfic like this... no hate! Anyway... review and stuff and read my other fanfics! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own HOA**

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Happy birthday. No one has said that to me today. They all forgot. But they didn't forget about Nina's birthday, which is also my birthday. I didn't _hate_ Nina. It wasn't her fault that she took my best friend, my old room, my seat, and _Fabian_. Fabian. He used to walk with me school everyday, he used to be the addition to our group, which was Patricia, Fabian, and me. But the group is gone and I'm all alone. Then again, it kind of _is_ Nina's fault, but only ten percent. Eighty percent is everyone else's, they rejected me and left me behind. And the last ten percent, it's all me. All of the horrible things I did to get them back never worked. They back-fired. Now I'm sitting there watching _her_ blow out the candles of _her_ cake. And it's ice-cream cake, my favorite, and Nina's favorite. After a while, more like two months ago, I noticed that Nina _is_ really nice. No wonder everyone likes her. But just because she's nice doesn't mean you forget about me! At least talk to me, _please_. I also found out that I'm broken.

You can't blame me, I mean, I lost _everything_. But no one agrees with me. They just tell me to stop being a drama queen. Okay, fine! I will! But I can't believe that they can't see what's going on! It's just Nina, Nina, Nina! I'm losing my mind! I don't know what to do anymore! All I know is that I need to stay strong. Even if you're a loner, your father hates you for not being the chosen one, your mother is dead, and you've been replaced. I'm Joy! I can't be sad if my name is Joy! I'm suppose to be happy! But I'm not, so I _pretend_.

I look up to see everyone laughing and talking in the dining room while I'm sitting in the living room all alone, playing with my ice-cream cake with my fork. I then notice that my ice-cream cake is melting. _Dang it!_ I then sigh, _It's food, just eat it!_ I then took a bite out of the cake, it was decent. It would've been better if it wasn't warm and melted. I then take another bite as I take my phone out to see if I got any texts. None. Not even one from my father, my only family left. That's something I don't tell anyone. I don't want anyone's pity, it just doesn't feel right. How did Nina do it? How did she just straight up tell everyone that her parents are dead and she lives with her gran and occasionally with her cousins in Florida? _Maybe she wants pity. Maybe she needs it._

I just shrug as I take another bite out of my cake. I then take a little box from my pocket. It had a little purple bow on it. It was a chain bracelet for Nina. I sighed, just because no one gave me a present or wished me a happy birthday, doesn't mean I couldn't wish Nina. I got up, leaving my plate on the couch and walked into the dining room. Everyone stopped talking and looked at me. I looked at Nina and smiled. I handed her the little box. "Happy Birthday Nina," She looked surprise as I gave her a fake/real smile. I was happy to give her the gift, but at the same time I felt like crying. Nina smiled back and took the gift slowly.

"Thanks Joy," I nodded and walked away back into the living room and sat down back on the couch and started eating the cake again, but not before I patted bunsy-buns* on the head. I think he is the only thing that likes me in this world. I knew that everyone was staring at me.

"Nina, don't open it," Amber said from the dining room.

"Why?" Nina asked.

"I bet it's a bomb!" Patricia told her. I twitched a little. Why would my own _friend_ say that?

"Or maybe worse!" Fabian added. Now I felt another hole, probably the biggest, made in my heart. My two best friends just dissed me, on my birthday. I sighed, _I was just trying to be nice_.

"Stop being silly!" Nina replied. I was actually surprised, why would Nina defend me? After Nina said that, I heard her open the present. I looked over at her to see her reaction. She smiled and put it on. I then smiled a bit, happy she liked it. My smile faded when I saw Amber shoot me a rude look. I sighed and looked back down. My heart hurts. I hate it, it's a pain that never goes away. At least Nina liked it, I feel a bit better. But I still felt like crying.

I miss my mum. She would've sent me a text. Hundreds of them, actually. I just looked at my locket, the locket Patricia gave me the year before I disappeared. I smiled a bit and took out my phone again. I then started to text my dad. If he doesn't text me I'll text him.

_Hi dad! its joy! i just want to say that my birthday is going great! see u soon! XOXO_

Lies. My birthday wasn't great at all. I bit my lip and sent the message, hoping my dad would reply. _Don't get your hopes up, Joy!_ I then looked around at the apps I had. I needed to get my mind off of this sadness. So I clicked on 'Angry Birds'. I smiled as I passed two levels. "I can't believe it's Nina's birthday and you're playing Angry Birds!" A voice from behind exclaims. I turn around to see Amber. I give her a small, weak, sad smile.

"Sorry for upsetting you," I apologized and put the phone in my pocket. Now I really felt like crying. So, you're fine with me sitting alone eating cake, but not me sitting alone playing a game and being happy for a bit? I then grabbed bunsy-buns and held her as Amber scoffed. I looked up.

"Really? You still have that old thing? Aren't you what? Sixteen?" Amber asked me. I shook my head.

"No Amber, I'm Seventeen," I then looked at my watch and looked back up. "In two minutes." Amber's mouth dropped open, along with everyone else besides Nina and me. _Wow, they actually forgot!_ I smiled sadly, grabbed bunsy-buns and got up. "Happy Birthday Nina, hope you like the bracelet. I also gave you the six charms... I didn't want them anymore," I then walked out of the room. Tears then fell down. I then stop on the staircase, _Where do I go? I have no where to cry? Someone's going to see me and laugh at me!_ I then shook my head and started walking upstairs again. When I got to me room, I sat down on the bed and sighed for about the hundredth time this day.

If you're wondering about the six charms, they are the charms Fabian and Patricia gave me. I gave them to Nina because she was _their_ best friend, I'm not. So that means I shouldn't have them. I then laid down on my bed, broken inside. "At least they found a new friend," I smiled to myself. Nina was lucky, she has great friends. I'm happy for her, not angry. It wasn't Nina's fault that they hate me now. I held bunsy-buns and hugged him. "Promise me you'll never leave me bunsy-buns?" I asked the stuffed animal. I could feel him say yes, my only friend. My only friend... a stuffed animal. Then again, he's been there with me all the way. I got him when I was born and ever since then.

I looked at my watch. 6:59 PM it read. I got up and got the cupcake from my desk that Trudy gave me this morning. I smiled a bit as I put a pink candle in it and then lit it. I closed my eyes. "Happy Birthday Joy," I said right before I blew the candle. I smiled as I threw the candle away and took a bite out of the cupcake. I then looked at my watch again. 7:00 PM. I walked over to the window and looked at the starry night sky. "I hope you hear me mum," I started. "This is my fourth birthday without you alive. I love you," I sighed as I watched the shooting star shoot by. I smiled and took another bite.

"Hey," I turned around to see Nina.

"If you're going to yell at me or laugh at me, go ahead!" I replied. Nina shook her head. She then took a rectangular thing wrapped in flowered wrapping paper.

"I didn't forget, Joy," Nina said as I grabbed the present slowly. I then unwrapped it neatly and dropped the wrapping paper on the ground to see Breaking Dawn, the last Twilight book. I smiled and looked up at Nina.

"Thanks Nina," I thanked her. My eyes then widened. I grabbed the cupcake and sighed. It already had two bites in it. "Sorry Neens, I don't have a cake, this is all I have."

"No, no, it's okay! I already had a bunch of cake," Nina smiled. "I'm sorry about Amber and-"

"It's okay, it's not your fault," I assured her. Nina's eyebrows furrowed.

"It's not?"

"No, they abandoned me. It was their decision. And it was my decision to do all those horrible things to pull them away further. You didn't do anything, you're just a nice person who deserves a lot of friends," I smiled and sat down on my bed. Nina nodded, smiled, and started to walk away. She then stopped by the door and turned around as I grabbed bunsy-buns.

"Happy birthday Joy."

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**BOOM! I felt like crying when I wrote this (because I was also listening to a sad song: Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne). This is a one-shot UNLESS you want me to make it a normal fanfiction!**

***Bunsy-bun: Joy's stuffed animal bunny. Pretend Victor never set it on fire! (re-watch the first season if you don't remember!)**

**Kay, review, read my other stories, and... ByE!**

**:P**


	2. Jerome

******I'm continuing this! Everyone was so nice so I'm continuing it! YEAH!**

******Disclaimer: I don't own HOA**

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My eyes opened a bit, letting light enter. I yawned and looked around the room to see nobody in their beds. I then looked at my alarm clock to see that it is 7:19. Weird, it's pretty early and it's a Saturday, why is everyone awake? I sigh, get out of bed, and stretch. I then looked over at my side table to see the Breaking Dawn book Nina gave me yesterday. That's when I frown, no one remembered my birthday yesterday. I shrug and put on my bunny slippers. I love bunnies, okay! Anyway, I chose my path yesterday while I laid in bed. I'm not going to let these people make fun of me or have pity. I need to show them the real me, the real Joy. If I can't do that then they _should_ make fun of me. Because the truth is, if I want to go anywhere in life I need to know where I'm coming from.

I walk out of the room and walk down the stairs. When I got downstairs and walked into the dining room, that's when I noticed that all of the girls were sleeping in the family room. _Wow, a slumber party without me!_ I sigh and walk into the kitchen. I grab a blue bowl, a spoon, fat free milk, and some cereal, Lucky Charms to be exact, and make my breakfast. I love marshmallows! Yummy! I then grab one of the rainbow marshmallows and pop it in my mouth as I put the spoon in. I then take a spoonful of the cereal as I read the school newspaper.

_Amelia Pinches gets third place in track_... wow, I never know Amelia was in track! I smile on the memory of Fabian and I in track. I would be the crazy runner and Fabian would be the complainer. _I wish that could happen again._ I sigh and take another spoonful. "Hey Joy," I then turned around to see Jerome eating an apple. I nod and wave, accidentally splashing some milk on his face.

"I'm so sorry!" I apologize as Jerome just laughed.

"It's okay, really! It was on accident," Jerome replied. There then was a silence. "Um... I'm really sorry for forgetting, I never meant to, it's just that Amber and Alfie were always talking about the party and-"

"It's okay, I understand that remembering two birthdays is hard especially when _Amber_ is going crazy over the outfits and the decorations," I told him.

"I feel _so _guilty now... and it's _me_ we're talking about!" Jerome exclaimed. I smile at him.

"You shouldn't feel _that_ guilty, if anyone should feel guilty it should be Patricia and Fabian," I confirm him. Jerome nodded and took another bite out of his apple. I then laugh a bit, making him look at me weirdly. "You eat _so_ many apples!" Jerome then smiled.

"Yeah, I do! Amber even made a scrapbook of me and apples!" Jerome laughed.

"Seriously? What's the couple name?" I asked him.

"Jerapple," Jerome replied, laughing. I then laughed.

"Of course! Typical Amber!" We then laughed. Jerome then left the room and came back with a big book. I laughed, on the cover it said 'Jerapple Scrap Book!'. He then showed me pictures of him eating apples, drinking apple juice, and stuff like that.

"Sometimes I wonder when she takes these pictures," Jerome admitted. I nodded.

"Yeah, before Nina came and before I disappeared Amber made a couple book for 'Foy' or something, you know, Fabian and me. But I heard she burned it once I came back... so kind of her," I sighed. Jerome walked up to me and laid his hand on my shoulder.

"It's okay, Amber is Amber and she does things like that," Jerome told me nicely. I then looked at him and my eyebrows furrowed.

"Since when were you nice?" I asked him.

"Since someone's birthday was forgotten like mine is every year," Jerome answered and then left the room. Realization hit my face, no one _ever_ wished Jerome happy birthday! Not even Alfie! I mean, Alfie used to until Amber moved into the house! Poor Jerome...

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**Okay, what I decided is that every chapter will be one person in the house apologizing. So I will write their name as the chapter, so basically Nina was chapter 1 and Jerome is chapter 2! Was it really bad? Oh yeah, next chapter Joy stands up to everyone in the house! EEEH! **

**Review if you like or scoff and spit on the screen if you hate! If you don't like the story, don't comment because that's pretty stupid!**

**:)**


	3. Alfie

******I'm pretty mad right now since I finished this chapter and it didn't save so I had to re-write it. Yeah...  
**

******Disclaimer: I don't own HOA**

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I looked at the ground. I was sad, but at the same time I was happy. Sad because everyone forgot my birthday and happy that Jerome actually _cares_. It surprised me... but in a good way. I looked at my cereal bowl to see nothing but small little crumbs. I set the bowl by the sink and walked out of the kitchen. I then started to walk up the stairs but was stopped from someone putting their hand on my shoulder. Confused, I turned around to see Alfie Lewis, the prankster, the clown, the jokster, or in other words, the witch's boyfriend.

"Hey Alfie..." I greeted awkwardly.

"I'm sorry!" Alfie replied. "I totally forgot... it's just that Amber was blabbering about Nina and... I was too... but I'm really _really_ sorry!" I smiled a bit.

"I forgive you," I told him.

"Really? Good, because I feel horrible! I was actually scared to apologize... I thought you would never forgive me-"

"What stopped you?" I then asked. Alfie sighed and looked at me.

"Jerome, he told me a couple minutes ago about the talk you two had and... it encouraged me... kind of? I don't know, but I'm really _really_ sorry! Did I say that already? Yeah, I did."

I laughed a bit before replying, "Well, I'm happy that you did... I feel better with myself."

"Yeah... and there is no need to be sad Joy, I mean... Jerome forgave you, I forgave you, and Nina forgave you-"

"More like she won't believe in the horrible things I've done-"

"But Joy, you have three _awesome_ friends cheering you on, and one's American!" Alfie exclaimed. "Here's what I think Jo," I smiled a bit, no one has called me Jo in like a _year_. "When you're ready, you stand up for yourself. You tell everyone that you don't care what about what they think. Because if you never stand up for yourself, you'll never have the confidence to do _anything_."

"Wow, first Jerome is nice and then Alfie is wise!" I exclaimed, making Alfie smile.

"Yeah... and I can be wise at times!" I then looked at him. "Yeah... I'll just shut-up now."

I then sat on my bed and thought about what Alfie said. He was right. I need to stand up to keep on going. But how do I do it? What do I say? I can't just walk in the room and just... do it! Do I plan it... or do I improvise... I don't know...! I'm SO confused! I looked over at my alarm clock to see 1:30 PM, lunch time. Wow, I've been thinking for like 6 hours! I then got off my bed. I knew that I had to do it, I had to stand up to everyone. Sighing, I opened the door and walked down the stairs.

When I entered the room everyone went quiet and looked at me. I gulped and looked and Jerome and Alfie, who both smiled at me. I then looked at Nina who gave me a small wave and smiled. I then sighed and looked at everyone else. "How was that slumber party in the living room?" All of the girls looked at each other as Amber smirked.

"Great, since you weren't there," Amber snapped. I nodded.

"Well, I had fun too, you know, reading my new Twilight book Nina got me," Almost everyone gasped and looked at Nina. Nina then shrugged, making almost everyone confused.

"But Nina-" Amber squealed.

"Amber... just save it," Alfie then snapped at his girlfriend. Again, almost everyone gasped and looked and Alfie.

"How could you forgive her?" Amber then asked.

"How can I forgive you?" Alfie then hissed. "After all you've done... you made me look like a witch-"

"Warlock," Jerome corrected.

"Yeah... You made me look like a _Warlock_ Amber! I never meant to forget Joy's birthday... but it seems that you did!" Alfie the stomped out of the room, leaving almost everyone breathless.

"And it's not just you Amber, it's all of you! I have experience of people forgetting my birthday... but Joy's birthday was also Nina's... and you guys _still_ forgot it!" Jerome then exclaimed.

"Why are you two pranksters taking Joy's side?" Patricia then asked. Jerome then got up.

"Because she's the one who's hurting," Jerome then left the room. Everyone then stared at me, as I looked at Nina, who winked.

"I'm finished with all of this _rubbish!_ I mean, Amber forgetting my birthday is one thing but you Patricia? And Fabian? You two were my best friends!" Tears then started in my eyes. "And you know what! Patricia, those leggings _do_ make you look fat!" I then stomped out of the room, not before looking at Patricia's face afterwards. I feel happy now, especially when I heard Patricia's oh so famous gasp. I'm happy to be Joy.

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**Sorry for the wait! I was on vacation and could only go on HOA boards... yeah... ALSO! Fans of Another Scream (How to rock or HTR) I just continued! Who is the Hooded Person? THE DISCOVERY IS THE NEXT CHAPTER!  
**

**Anyway, if you have read What if (HTR) please help me! I'm totally stuck on it!  
**

**Review if you like or scoff and spit on the screen if you hate! If you don't like the story, don't comment because that's pretty stupid!**

**:)**


	4. Eddie

******Hey Lovees! And Got2LiveItBigTime, both Mick and Eddie are living in the house. Also, this fanfic is based off of three songs, Nobody's Home by Avril Lavigne, Paradise by Coldplay, and Cough Syrup by Young The Giant. Check out those three AMAZING songs! And why do some people think the fanfic is done? There has only been 3 chappies? Well... whatever! Next chapter! YIP! YIP!  
**

******Disclaimer: I don't own HOA**

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I smiled proudly as I walked into the two prankster's room. The two looked at me and smiled. "Yeah Joy!" Jerome exclaimed. I smiled and gave both of them a hug. They hugged me back, which surprised me a little, but I sighed and hugged them tighter. We all then let go. "Oh, and I overheard the part about Patricia's leggings, nice touch!" I then laughed kissed both Alfie and Jerome on the cheeks.

"Thank you two SO much!" I thanked the two, letting my hot, happy tears fall down my cheeks.

"Wait... You're happy crying... right?" Alfie asked me. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

"Yes !" I replied, causing Jerome to laugh.

"Hey," I heard a voice from behind me say. The three of us then turned to see Nina, who smiled. "That was amazing what you did back there Joy... you totally inspired me!" Nina said. I smiled and gave her a hug. She hugged me back. When we let go Nina sighed and looked at Jerome and Alfie. "So, what are we? The prankster, American, Joyful club?" We all then nodded, liking the name of our new 'club'.

"Can we add an 'S' to American?" I then looked at the doorway to see my ex-best friend's boyfriend, Eddie Miller. I sighed and looked at Nina, Jerome, and Alfie, who nodded at me. I then walked out of the room with Eddie behind me. I then turned to Eddie. "I'm so... _so_ sorry! I'm sorry I forgot, I'm sorry I spit a piece of my hoagie on you three months ago... by the way, that was on accident! I would have apologized earlier but Patricia threatened me-"

"Patricia what?" I asked the American, shocked of what he just said. Eddie sighed and looked at me.

"She threatened me that if I talked to you then she would run me over with a car, then whack me with a lamp, and then... well... fold me into origami..." I then looked at Eddie, trying to hide my smile.

"And you believed her?" I asked him. Eddie then rolled his eyes.

"We're talking about Patricia here," Eddie reminded me. I then smiled and nodded.

"True, true..."

"You aren't going to forgive me... are you? I should have known..." Eddie looked down sadly. His eyes started to water up as I frowned.

"It's your weakness... isn't it?" I asked Eddie, who looked up.

"What's my weakness?"

"Forgiveness." Eddie then nodded.

"Yeah... that and... abandonment," Eddie sighed, causing me to frown even more.

"Why abandonment?"

"Well... my father left when I was really small, all of my grandparents died before I was born, all of my family members dislike me, and my mother? She threatens to put me in an orphanage... once she did it, but got caught," Eddie then smiled. "It was funny though." I sighed and looked at the blond.

"That's depressing," I told him. Eddie nodded at me.

"Yeah... that's why I hate talking about my family, it just makes me sad..."

"Same," I agreed with him. Family is a big issue for me. I then looked at him. "Wait... you have no siblings?" Eddie looked down again.

"Well... I _had_ a twin sister."

"What do you mean by _had_?" I asked him. Eddie sighed and scratched his head.

"Uh... she died by cancer." His answer struck me. How could such a sloppy, funny, guy have such a bad past? I then hugged him, and he hugged me back.

"I'm so sorry..." We both let go.

"You shouldn't be the one apologizing... I should," Eddie then said. I rolled my eyes and looked at him.

"Have you ever told anyone this? I mean... besides your family?" Eddie shook his head.

"I like being known as the tough guy, not the sensitive depressing guy," Eddie the said. I nodded and smiled.

"Well, I'm happy that you apologized. And I'm happy you told me about everything."

Eddie sighed. "Yeah... your welcome... now I'm going to the bathroom to brush my teeth."

I then watched Eddie walk towards the bathroom. I thought for a moment and rolled my eyes. "Since when do you brush your teeth?!"

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**Yup! I bet all of you are just like OMG EDDIE! It's just that I've always thought that Eddie had a WAY sadder background than just his father leaving! Also... was it too cheesy?  
**

**Review if you like or scoff and spit on the screen if you hate! If you don't like the story, don't comment because that's pretty stupid!**

**:)**


	5. Mara -sort of-

**HEY GUYS! Sorry I haven't continued this story in FOREVER! SORRY! Sooo... next chapter here it is! Also, I'm not going to have KT and Willow in Anubis House... but they'll be in the story! I promise! Sorry if I'm bad at writing... yeah... I think my technique got worse... :(**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HOA**

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I walked upstairs slowly, smiling as I did. I actually _had_ friends. And they weren't faking it, they weren't lying... I couldn't feel any better. After the last step, I licked my lips. Today was going to be a good day! I could _feel_ it! I walked into my room that I shared with Mara and Patricia. I sighed and looked around the room to see Mara, sitting quietly on her bed, which was covered by a bright yellow blanket.

It took a moment for Mara to notice me, and once she did... she blushed. A lot actually. And I knew what her blushing meant... Mara was _embarrassed_.

"Hey Mar... you okay?" I asked politely, trying to get the facts out of her. I bet Patricia was playing a prank on me and forced Mara to do it with her... or maybe-

"I'm sorry! Okay! Now go lecture me!" Wow. I did not suspect that. A very _very_ uncomfortable silence swam across the room. Mara's voice was so... edgy... irritated. She sounded like she was about to break something or throw a book out the window or something. She sounded pissed.

Mara looked at me. I looked at her back. Every few minutes I would turn to look at the door, just in case this was a prank. I sighed, yet again and observed the Indian girl. She looked like... a statue. The brunette wasn't moving at all, she had a stern look on her face, and it was creepy...

I kept on staring at her, hoping she would say something... but she didn't. She just sat there. "Uh... Mara?" Mara looked at me and bit her lip.

"Aren't you gonna do it?"

"Do what?"

"Give me a lecture?"

"What? No!"

"Why not!" Mara whined, which confused me greatly. I knew she was somewhat nerdy but this was _way_ too stereotypical.

"Because... I..." I thought for a moment, then furrowed my eyebrows. "Wait! Why?"

Mara sighed and looked at me. "When I was a kid there was a rule. Whenever a student did something mean or wrong, they get a lecture on why it _is_ mean or wrong!" My eyes widened in confusion, wanting more information.

"Meaning?!"

"I did something mean and something wrong!"

"Wait what?" I questioned. My expression then softened. "I was never mad at you for everyone forgetting my birthday you know that right...?"

Mara frowned and looked at me with sympathy. "I know... but that's not what I'm talking about."

I furrowed my eyebrows and gave the girl a look. "So... then what are you talking about?" Within a second, the teenager's brown eyes' widened, looking behind me. She then looked back at me.

"I'm so sorry!" Mara repeated.

And before I could say anything, I felt cold mushy stuff fall onto me. The substance was a bright orange and it was so cold it stung my skin, not to mention the stench. I turned around quickly, causing some bits of the mush to fly all over our room. I looked up to see _her. Patricia_. My ex-best friend. I knew it... my mind was yelling... but I didn't listen. I never do.

"Pa-pa-patricia!" I shivered, failing to sound intimidating. Patricia just laughed and looked at me with victory gleaming out of her eyes.

"No one calls me fat, _Mercer!_" Patricia hissed.

Tears ran down my face instantly, I wasn't sure if they were hot or cold. Or if they were noticeable. All I knew was that Patricia didn't just dislike me... she _hated_ me. All she had to do was say that one word. Mercer. Not even Joy. Just Mercer. One word... and my heart is crushed. The best friend I once had... hates me. Like everyone else, like my dad, like the universe, like... _me_.

My happiness I once had was destroyed by the one person who first made me happy. Funny to think of it, that the person who made me depressed is the one person who gives me the happiness once again. Patricia and Nina, in that order. It's funny how they changed sides. Funny how everyone changed sides. It's funny how now there is no sides. It's just funny. The wall has broken down inside of me and I can't do anything about it.

There is only one option. Not two... but only one. And I have discovered that option after years of digging and after years of regret. There only _is_ one option. I can't be loved, I can't be liked. I'm just... not able to. Like how Jerome isn't able to sing or how Amber isn't able to solve a simple math equation. I'm not able to have friends. It's not fair... but hey. I didn't make the rules. And maybe those four people broke that rule.

Maybe they did. Maybe they didn't. I just have to keep on searching for that answer. But for now... I'm just going to assume no one likes me and wonder why... even though I must know. Since I don't like myself either.

I run away from they and hide myself in the bathroom, locking the doors behind me. Soon I can hear Victor yelling about the orange mush that was scattered everywhere. I smile a bit... but that didn't help.

I was so happy... and it just like that, poof! It's gone. Complaining won't help, and I know that. I tried to think of something else... like a happy memory. But the pain was unbearable... all I could think of was sitting there. Alone. In that room... while everyone else was laughing and opening presents with Nina. And me, forced to leave school against my own will. And I thought... I thought that everyone would have missed me. I thought they would have been searching for me... but no. They all just replaced me with _Nina. _Nina was so nice... but I couldn't help it but hate her. It's sad, though. Back then it was jealousy but now... it's envy.

I can't be jealous of her... because I already lost everything. I have nothing left to loose, now all I want is to be her. To be someone. To _be_ something!

And here I am, sitting down against the bathroom door covered in orange crap... complaining to myself. I can't help it but laugh... I'm such a disaster.

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**Did you guys like it!? Yeah, not the way you thought it was going to be... did you? So yeah, Joy is no longer happy... instead she's worse. Don't worry the ending of the story is {somewhat} happy! She'll be fine in the end! I just wanted some drama!**

**So... was it bad? PLEASE TELL ME!  
**

**I'm planning to have chapter where I basically have Joy feel what am feeling. Useless. Yeah... I get that feeling a lot where I'm just _there_ kind of and that no one would care if I just jumped off a cliff or something.**

**Yeah... I just don't really like myself.**

**Nevermind me how about you?!**

**Smosh fans out there? Kalel/Anthony aRE SO CUTE TOGETHER!  
**

**Phans? Phandoms? Danosaurs? Anyone?**

**YEah... into youtubers lately. OKAY NOW!**

******Review if you like or scoff and spit on the screen if you hate! If you don't like the story, don't comment because that's pretty stupid!**

**:)**


	6. Jerome again

**HEY GUYS! So... exams are almost over (on Tuesday for me. I have Science on Tuesday and THEN I AM DONE!) and my bunny died :(  
**

**So... yeah. Summer break is coming up so now I'm going to be... ORGANIZED! Go on my profile to see which days I'll continue each story!**

**And Just-Kiss-Her-Fabian: It's okay haha! AND I LOVE YOUR USERNAME!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HOA**

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I sat in the bathroom and stared at my reflection. I looked pale... sick pale with some random gunks of orange on me. I then touched one of the orange pieces and grimaced. What is this stuff anyway? Is it food? Do I eat it?

I picked up a small bunch of the orange and put it in my mouth. I then spit it out immediately afterwards. No... nope... no. That is _not_ food.

My hair was a wreck. It was all weighed down from the abnormal orange stuff. My clothes were even worse. I was wearing my night suit... it was just disgusting. I was cold and covered in rubbish! Not to mention that I smelled like manure.

I need to take a shower. But how am I supposed to get my clothes without being laughed at or accidentally dripping orange everywhere? I rubbed my forehead. This one was a toughie. I sighed and eyed the bathroom. Maybe I could- nah. We aren't aloud to walk in the hall with a towel on.

Before I could think of anymore _ridiculous_ ideas, someone knocked on the bathroom door.

I rolled my eyes. "Go away!" I snapped.

"Joy! It's Nina!" The person on the other side exclaimed. This made me more annoyed.

"Go away!"

"I have some clothes for you!" I fell silent. I thought for a moment before I opened the door and flung my arm out to grab the bundle of clothes. I felt the American put the clothes in my hand. I pulled them back in and closed the door.

"Thanks..." I mumbled.

"Your welcome."

I heard her footsteps and sighed. I was really rude... wasn't I? Maybe I shouldn't have... but... but she's just so perfect... she's so nice... I just hate her so much. It's just not fair. It's not fair at all.

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After my shower, I changed into the clothes Nina gave me and dried my hair with my purple towel. I then stepped out of the water closet and looked at my phone. It was already the afternoon... I must have taken a long shower! I ran down the staircase and into the kitchen. I stopped in the doorway once I saw Jerome eating an apple and reading the school newspaper. He looked up with wide eyes.

"Joy? I heard what happened... are you okay?" He asked. I didn't respond I just ran away. Jerome must have been confused because he kept on calling after me. But... I didn't stop. And I didn't care. I ran out of the house and into the forest. The early fallen leaves were crunched beneath my feet while I ran. Hot tears escaped my eyes while the wind attempted to blow them away.

I stopped running and looked for the nearest tree. I then sat down and cried. I don't know _why_ I cried. Or why I ran away. I just... _did_ it. After a minute or so I heard footsteps near where I was sitting. I looked up to see the tall towheaded boy I ran away from. He must think I'm crazy. Just think about it, a small brunette with slightly damp hair running away from her friend for no reason while crying. Sounds insane to me.

I looked at Jerome again. He looked hurt... and confused... all because of me. More tears fell from my eyes. "I-I'm sorry..." I sniffed. "I just... I don't... I... well..." I blushed from embarrassment. I really had _no_ explanation for why I ran away. Jerome sat down next to me and rubbed my shoulder awkwardly.

"Are you... sad?" Jerome asked me. This question _forced_ me to roll my eyes. Jerome smiled a bit and shook his head. "Uh... never mind. That was a stupid question."

We sat in silence for a moment. "You know... don't you?" Jerome asked me. I furrowed my brows and looked at him.

"Know what?"

Jerome sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm... I'm the one who gave Patricia the baby food..." _So that's what it was!_

I then licked my lips. "Why... why would you do that?"

"I didn't know what she was using it for," Jerome admitted. "She just asked me to steal some of Amber's and... well... I'm just dumb."

I then smiled a bit. "Why does Amber have baby food?"

Jerome smiled along with me. "I... don't know!" We both sighed and admired the forest floor. "I don't hate you," Jerome suddenly said. I looked at him and smiled. "I mean... I'm pretty sure it's a good thing seeing that I hate about 95% of the human race."

I laughed a bit. "I don't hate you either, Jerome."

The blonde sighed. "Most people hate me," I gave him a sympathetic look. Jerome smiled at me. "Don't worry! I'm used to it!" Jerome stared at the sky and explained while I stared at him. "I guess I kind of bring it on myself. I just do... such _stupid_ things... it sucks. I mean... I try to do the right thing but then... I just... don't."

"Most people hate me too," I replied as I looked at the sky, causing him to look at me. "And for... a somewhat same reason." I turned to look at Jerome, who was already looking at me. "I lost everything after I was taken out of school... you know? I just wanted it all back..."

"The sad thing is," Jerome started. "Even if we _didn't_ do the stupid things we did, people would just ignore us."

"Everyone ignored me when I came back..." I mumbled.

"I'm sorry," Jerome apologized. "I had the whole entire 'I found my dad' thing..."

"It's okay!" I exclaimed. We both fell into another silence. "It's weird knowing that you're feeling what I'm feeling..." I then said. "I mean, I feel as if everyone hates me, and you're telling me it's not true. And you are _also_ feeling as if everyone hates you... and _I'm_ telling you it's not true."

"I guess," Jerome responded. "We are both hypocrites then."

"Yeah," I said in agreement. "I'm sorry... again."

Jerome smiled. "I'm sorry too."

There was another silence. Probably the eight one this day. I looked over at Jerome and he looked over at me. What was he thinking?

"If I... _kissed_ you right now... what would you do?" I raised an eyebrow. Did he just say what I _thought_ he said? Before I could even respond he pressed his soft lips against my chapped ones. My eyes widened at first, but then I closed my eyes and kissed back. After a couple of seconds we both backed away, blushed like lunatics.

Jerome immediately hid his face, ashamed. "I'm sorry!"

I laughed at how he was acting. "It's fine! I liked it!" Jerome looked up at me and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Oh?" He said in a seductive voice. I laughed even more and stood.

"Lets go inside apple boy!"

Jerome stood up as well and scoffed. "That's not creative at all!"

"Well! Then I just have to call you Paris!" I exclaimed as we walked back to Anubis House.

"Then you'll be Helen!" He responded. We both laughed at our Greek mythology and talked more about Jerome's apple obsession. I'm feeling _much_ better now.

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**Was this chapter bad? I kinda rushed... and I'm too lazy to edit. I AM UPDATING THIS STORY ON SUNDAYS! Check out my profile for everything else! **

**I am a nerd. Helen... Paris? Greek mythology? The golden apple? ... yeahhhh**

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